Make a Decision
There comes a time in every life when the weight of doing it all alone becomes too much. And yet even then many of us still resist reaching out for help. Why? Because for some, defiance kicks in. A quiet rebellion stirs inside, not directed outward but inward, against our own vulnerability. Those of us who’ve built our identity around self-reliance, independence, and personal willpower often find it difficult to ask for or accept help. The idea of being in charge isn’t just a habit, it’s a deeply ingrained belief. It feels like safety. Like control. Like strength.
But here’s a gentle truth: being in charge of everything all the time is exhausting. And ultimately, it's an illusion. This is where the concept of willingness becomes a life raft. Willingness isn’t weakness. It’s not giving up. Willingness is an act of courage. It’s a soft, yet steady shift in perspective, a quiet opening to another way of being.
Willingness is cultivated over time through honesty, humility, and open-mindedness. These qualities may seem simple, but they are powerful. They soften the edges of our defensiveness and help us open to support, not because we are incapable, but because we are human. The attitude of willingness supports the belief that all things are possible through relationship, surrender, and trust.
Making a decision to accept help is the moment we recognize the difference between what can be changed by willpower and what cannot. It’s the moment we stop the inner struggle. We stop trying to hold everything together with our own two hands and allow someone else to take a piece of the load. It can be expressed through small, symbolic gestures: letting someone bring us a coffee, asking for a moment of someone’s time, or even simply saying “I don’t know.”
The less we force life, the more it seems to flow. When we try to make everything happen according to our exact plans and preferences, we miss the gentle rhythms that life offers us. We become rigid, anxious, tired. But when we surrender just a little we begin to see that things often turn out better than we could’ve imagined.
We stop fighting the things we can’t control. We stop trying to bend reality to our personal will. And in that surrender, something shifts - we begin to trust. We trust life. We trust others. We trust ourselves.
This is the beginning of a deeper journey, a mystery, really. Accepting help doesn’t just ease external burdens, it supports our emotional growth. It helps us acknowledge our feelings rather than avoid them. It teaches us to tolerate uncomfortable sensations in the body without panic. It allows us to observe emotionally charged themes in our life without immediately needing to fix, run, or fight. We become witnesses to our own experience, with compassion and curiosity.
So, consider this:
What did you learn growing up about dependence and independence?
What beliefs were handed down to you about asking for or accepting help?
How do you feel today when someone offers you support?
Do you resist it? Minimize it? Gratefully receive it.
Choosing to open up and ask for help often comes from a deeper personal shift. It means starting to make peace with the things that are out of your control — the stuff you can’t fix, no matter how hard you try. At the same time, it takes real courage to face the things you can change, and to take steps, even small ones, toward doing something about them. The hard part is figuring out which is which — knowing when to let go, and when to lean in.
So here is the invitation: let yourself be helped. Let someone in. Let someone pick up the kids when you're running late, sit with you in silence when you’ve had a hard day, send a quick text just to check in. You don’t have to handle everything on your own. You never really did.
And just maybe, on the other side of that decision, you’ll find a sense of freedom and connection that you didn’t know you were missing.